To the guy i loved but things were complicated

To the guy i loved but things were complicated;
I think you know who you are, the one who never left no matter how fucked i am.
I'm so sorry i was this bad to you. I was the one who can't even make up my mind.
Tbh, i don't know i feels about you and us. I'm scared i lost both friend and lover.
I'm so sorry that u had to go thru this shit for so many years. But you deserve someone can loves you all day without thinking are you and her a perfect match, I'm not that one person.
You being so good to me. So caring. I wish we didn't start off as a friends. I wish you didn't confessed and i don't break ya heart back in time.
Things were hard for me too. It hurts me every time i recalled whatever shit i've done to you.
You was never not been there for me. Just don't hate me. I'm not going to leave you. I'll be your side thru ups and down. As a friends. A loyal one's.
You're so good and you deserve someone as good as you.
Thank you for everything. The birthday treats, the hard smile and comforting gesture you ever did to me. You was good back then.
I was the one who fucked everything between us, & i fucking acknowledge that. Sorry.